Cats in a sack!

Holiday baking is a very special time. The warm oven making my face flushed, being dusted with flour, the smell of butter and sugar wafting through the air. For me, it is a little bit of heaven! Of all the recipes I make each year, the ones I enjoy are those that have been passed through my family for generations. One of the most delicious, and challenging of these is Katze-im-sac.

Katze-im-sac is translated to mean "cats in a sack". These are cookies that are rolled thin and filled with a walnut meringue. The sides of the cookies are folded over to create the sack. As they bake, the meringue creates a gooey, sweet nutty filling and the edges are crispy and buttery. They are very difficult to make and have taken me years to perfect them to the liking of my grandmother and great aunt. "Roll the dough thinner" my great aunt would say. My grandmother would politely gobble them up, but I remember the year I got them right, her smile was much bigger than years past. I finally found the trick to getting the dough very thin and enjoy making these each year. I even use one of my grandmother's old wooden boards to roll them out on (which is one of my secrets).

Several years ago, in 2009, I was rolling out my katze-im-sac. I was thinking of family and all the years we have enjoyed this recipe. I thought of my great aunt who had passed away and wondered if I was making this batch to her liking. As I continued to roll and fold my dough, this one rolled right into a heart! I realized in that moment that when I cook and bake for my family, my heart is behind it. I make these little gems each year to not only celebrate the holiday but to allow older members in my family see that their traditions are anchored firmly into place. They have shared with me the art of transforming butter and sugar into a time travel machine that visits all the years of Christmas past.

This year I am celebrating my first Christmas without my grandmother. I am finding it very hard to motivate myself to bake which has made me aware how much I was inspired by her presence. One of my greatest pleasures was taking a ride on that time machine with her, but this year I will be denied. As the last few days before Christmas fly, it is my intention to put on the apron and dedicate a day to baking. This year my focus is on my children who are learning to appreciate these cookies each year. Perhaps there will come a time when I will be visiting my grandchild and he/she will be rolling out that dough for me. "Thinner, thinner..." I will tell them, as the crispy meringue transports me through the Christmases past. I can only imagine how deeply meaningful that would feel, and I hope my grandmother was able to experience the same.